All my life is yours

I am broken, my feelings where frozen. From things that happened in the past. But now i know it wont last. Everytime i try to explain, what keep me in chain. Im falling apart. Traumas locked in my heart. I am damaged, While I tried to manage. The longer the wait To keep my feelings safe. The more i got stuck. To learn "how to give a fuck!" The past who is hunting, I try to keep running. But one day it will catch up,  no matter how much i led up. So give me some little time, it should not be a crime, I will open up as soon i come out of the dark, still there will be some marks. But I know perfectly well with you it will heal, My nerves are turning to steel. Together we will manage, to throw the baggage That past weight on my shoulders, We carry like soldiers! Nothing can knock us out, when we keep to talk about. To fix and make it heal... Written by Alina P.S some days the burden of the past weight way to much. I keep trying to not fall back in my old habbits of protecting mys...

                ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ It's nice to know you're loved unconditionally. But it also hurts to know that you never did! I know that until your death, I could never do anything right for you, and that hurts. Yet I did everything to earn your love and approval but it was never enough for you...                 ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ The past catches you when you least expect it. Suddenly, it's back, and you can't escape it... Be it just a word, a gesture, or something similar that makes you feel like a small, stupid, insignificant child who can never live up to the expectations of others. No matter how hard you try. To this day, a quiet voice in my head haunts me, constantly saying, "You're not good enough!" Even though I try so hard to please everyone and everything. I feel like I'm giving up on myself and my needs, but they always say I'm selfish and only think about myself. But when was the last time I t...

Its been some time I wrote a blog.  Its been some time I wrote about you.  Its been some time I wrote about me and my life.  But what should i say... Its the same day,  the same routine, the same waiting for you to come home. Only with you i feel complete. Only with you i feel loved.  Only with you i feel seen. Only with you i feel happy and whole.  Only with you i feel everything i have never  felt befor.  You fill my life with so much of everything that exist in this world.  Without you my world and my life would be empty.  So i feel thankful and blessed to live a life with you in it.  Love you ❤️  Its been some time i wrote ...

Almost a year has passed since I packed my things and settled to another country.  More than 6,750km separate me from my old home, my family and my friends.  But am I happy with my decision, my life and everything that goes with it? The answer is YES ! Are there days when I regret emigrating? Definitely no . But it would be a lie if I said I didn't miss a few things. Like, for example, the German food, meeting my family and friends spontaneously, the huge selection of offers, be it in the supermarket or elsewhere. But what would we say? "It's not out of the world." Its only a few hours flight away ;). However, it's not a bad thing to miss something or someone. Because this will make you appreciate the time you spend together much more.  Enjoy the food you have longed for so much more and soak up every moment and save it for “bad times”. For the time of longing.  But I would do it again and again. And why? Well, love makes it possible 🙈💖. As cheesy as it sounds, ...

Every day when I hold you in my arms, it feels like a dream. I feel safe.  I feel secure. I feel loved. Every time I'm in your arms, I feel my body recharging its batteries. I feel the energy that is between us. An energy that I've never felt in my life befor. I feel that there are no limits for us. Together we can do anything! I feel the bond that is created by our tears, our laughter and our constant fights to finally be together.  When I'm in your arms, I know I'm home. The place I always wanted to be. The place I belong. Your arms are my safe space, my everything.  I'm always protected in your arms. Nothing can happen to me here.  I want to stay in your arms forever! May I?

                                    ... no words to say! There are moments in life when you can't find the right words or you're so overwhelmed by the situation that you don't have the words. I had this feeling for the last few months of my life. So much good has happened, but where there is good, there is always something “bad” lurking. However, the “negative” in life also has something good in it.  It just depends on what you do with it. Every low makes you stronger and you learn to appreciate the good things in your life much more.  Because of everything that has happened recently, all the hurdles that I had to overcome and still have to overcome, I have found more to myself. I feel much closer to mine than ever before. But this step to be closer to myself, to love myself more again and to not be so strict with myself, required a lot of courage and strength.  I left my homeland, ...