I'm still healing ❤️‍🩹

I am broken,

my feelings where frozen.

From things that happened in the past.

But now i know it wont last.

Everytime i try to explain,

what keep me in chain.

Im falling apart.

Traumas locked in my heart.

I am damaged,

While I tried to manage.

The longer the wait

To keep my feelings safe.

The more i got stuck.

To learn "how to give a fuck!"

The past who is hunting,

I try to keep running.

But one day it will catch up, 

no matter how much i led up.

So give me some little time,

it should not be a crime,

I will open up as soon i come out of the dark,

still there will be some marks.

But I know perfectly well with you it will heal,

My nerves are turning to steel.

Together we will manage,

to throw the baggage

That past weight on my shoulders,

We carry like soldiers!

Nothing can knock us out,

when we keep to talk about.

To fix and make it heal...

Written by Alina

P.S some days the burden of the past weight way to much. I keep trying to not fall back in my old habbits of protecting myself or getting hurt. By people i should feel save, loved and understood. But instead i got blamed for things that wasn't my fault. So i keep protecting myself. Over and over again. 

But that chapter is already done. I made it out of the dark. I fought for myself, had my own back when no one was there.

And the good thing is now i dont have to fight for myself alone. I got someone who fight with me my battles. I got someones back. 

I feel save, loved and understood like never befor. Yes im still healing and i know it will take time but i know with my man at my side everything will be fine.

I wish that everyone have someone they can lean on when everything feels heavy...